Til Death Do We Part
by Rundiamhair
Summary: Marriage Law fic, but this one is actually CANON. Severus is not mushy, Hermione is not whiny, and they do not fall in love right away, but actually have character development. Not HBP/DH compatible. Takes place after the fall of Voldemort, 7th year.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, obviously.

Chapter 1 - Dumbest Idea Ever

* * *

"No."

"Severus-"

"Absolutely not, Albus. I refuse."

"Come now, Severus, be reasonable-"

"This is the dumbest idea ever."

"Severus, surely you see this is the only solution-"

"It most certainly is not. And, no, I don't want a lemon drop, so don't bother asking me." Honestly, if Albus thought presenting ultimatums for the girl would compel him into agreeing to go along with this nightmare of a situation, he was going to learn the meaning of rejection.

Dumbledore sighed. This was going to be harder than he'd expected. On the other hand, in some ways it was going better. For example, Severus hadn't walked out of his office the minute Dumbledore had revealed to him the entirety of his plan.

"Severus," he began again, slowly, with an air of great patience, "I can well imagine how distasteful this situation may seem to you. However, there are times when one must sacrifice-"

"I've made more sacrifices than anyone else, old man, and you have due cause to know it, seeing as how you ordered me to make most of them. I refuse to be coerced into making another."

"Would you then have her beaten? Raped? _Killed_?" the headmaster asked harshly.

"I fail to see the problem."

Dumbledore stared at him a moment, incredulous. Severus allowed himself a smirk. Perhaps if he made Albus angry enough he'd just forget about this entire stupid idea. Or get someone else.

"This is hardly the time for jokes, and your particular sense of humour has always been somewhat lacking."

"Who said I was joking?"

Unfortunately, Albus seemed to be onto him. The headmaster took a deep breath and said, "If you think you can come with a better plan, I am completely willing to hear it. If not, then, we must resign ourselves to this one."

"Why don't we just let her think of a way out? She does put herself out there as the know-it-all queen of Hogwarts," Severus sneered.

"Despite what you may think of her, Miss Granger really is in quite over her head. Even more so, she is not completely aware of the dangers that Mr. Macnair and Messrs. Malfoy present. It is imperative that we stop them from achieving their goals."

"Perhaps Draco has simply become lovesick over the girl. Although, I can't say I understand his taste." Severus figured that if he could continue throwing Albus off track the conversation would eventually turn to something else and be forgotten. Besides, if one though about it, it was quite amusing. Whoever said Severus Snape didn't have a sense of humour was obviously too busy being intimidated to realize the true meaning of the man's smirk. Which, of course, was exactly what he was aiming for.

"Severus, be serious, please. Miss Granger played a vital role last year in the battle against Voldemort." Severus flinched. He hated it when people referred to the Dark Lord by his name in front of him. Dumbledore was probably doing it on purpose. "If you think that the Death Eaters that still roam free are likely to forget this, you are clearly in denial. Add to that the fact that she is a Muggleborn. Come on, Severus. We all know what Macnair is like, and you yourself confirmed Draco Malfoy as being a Death Eater - you of all people should have no trouble imagining what he and his father are capable of! Do you honestly want to leave her to people like that?"

Severus gazed back at him impassively, seemingly not moved in the slightest by the headmaster's speech. "The Dark Lord," he said, putting emphasis on the title, "As you said, is gone. It doesn't matter in the least what happens to Miss Granger. Besides, she's annoying."

"Is annoying you really cause for a death sentence? If it was, there wouldn't be any Hogwarts students left." Dumbledore resisted the urge to do a parody of Severus's smirk.

Severus had no time for Albus' failed attempts at humour. "I am forced to deal with her incessant chatter and brainy displays during classes. I refuse to come home to it as well. Undoubtedly it becomes worse at close quarters, with no one else there to distract her attentions."

"She is turning out to be quite a brilliant mind-"

"If you're about to compel me to think of all the contributions she is capable of making to the wizarding world, you may save your breath. Have her marry Weasley. In a few years we'll have a multitude of red-headed brains roaming the school, acing Transfiguration exams and destroying the furniture." He inwardly shuddered at that thought. He should never have brought that up. Albus would probably set the two up, and Severus would have to deal with said annoyances.

"If you want to think about it that way, she'd breed much more intelligent children with you as the father. Just think, you're being given permission to have an affair with a student—something professors everywhere have been trying to do for hundreds of years."

"If you're trying to appeal to my darker side you're utterly failing. It'd only work if you forbade a relationship between us and we had an illicit affair anyway," he sneered. "Besides, I'm not in the least attracted to her."

"I never knew you to be a vain man."

From anyone else, Severus might have recognized that as an implication that he was considered ugly. From Dumbledore, it was simply a statement. Severus often wondered if the Headmaster was even capable of insulting someone. "I have standards and tastes, you know. And they do not include bushy haired schoolgirls who think they're wiser than their professors."

"Alright, so you don't like her, I think you've made that clear. Think of it this way - you get to finally be the big, strapping hero! And you'll even get credit for doing so!"

"Yes, I'm sure she'll be thanking me on bended knee for saving her," Severus scoffed. "Honestly, Albus, where have you been? The girl doesn't like me one bit - and that's as it should be. I've carefully formulated it so that she hates me as much as I hate her, thereby assuring me peace and quiet."

"I think you'll find that she does indeed afford you a certain amount of respect."

"If that's supposed to make me think she's madly in love with me, you'll have to realize that I am a Slytherin and you a Gryffindor. I am not so easily guiled, and you have never been any good at manipulation." Severus found that most of the time when Albus wanted something from him he could get away with petty insults. Until, of course, Severus gave in, which he was hoping to avoid this time. "I don't like her - that is the end of it."

"But even you must see the need to keep her protected – if not specifically for her, then for simple human decency."

"Then get someone else. I'm sure Lupin would be willing-"

"_You_ are the only one I trust to do this."

"More like I'm the only one you know who you think you can convince." The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes confirmed this, which only served to cause Severus to resist the plan with even more fervor.

"You know the Malfoys, and Macnair. You know what they might be planning, or at the very least you have the necessary connections to find out. In the meantime, you are far more capable of protecting her from any harmful spells they may try, seeing as how you probably learned them at the same time they did. You're strong and sly and-"

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me."

"Don't be coy, Severus; it doesn't become you."

"Who said I was being coy?" Severus returned, fully aware that he was being ironic. Well, if he was stuck in this horrid situation, he might as well get some amusement out of it - and having a go at Dumbledore's expense was the ultimate in entertainment.

"Severus, you _must_ do this. If you took the time to consider what the situation is instead of dismissing it outright you would see that there is no other option. You not only must do this, you _will_ do it."

There was a tension-ridden pause. Slowly, intimidatingly, Severus stood up. "The Dark Lord is gone now, Albus. The Order of Phoenix is no longer active. I refuse to be ordered around any longer. I'm _not_marrying the chit. She'll just have to find a way to get out of her own problems for a change. I'll not be anyone's scapegoat anymore, I won't follow your orders without question, and nor will I continue to do your gruntwork that you can't pass off to anyone else. I still have enough of a life left for it to be ruined, on my own terms, by my own choice."

And with that, he walked out, black robes billowing behind him.

* * *

The next day found the door to the headmaster's office slamming open with a force enough to rattle its hinges. Any student who had been there would have sworn it was reminiscent of Potions class, which would then have been reinforced from the black-clad figure stalking into the room. 

Severus stormed up to the headmaster's desk and stood there, glaring at the man sitting calmly in front of him in anger, with the look of a man who is cornered and furious with himself for being unable to find a way out.

"Alright, Albus. Give me the damn quill."

This was it. Severus would be signing his life away. And for what? So some annoying brain who knew nothing about the real world didn't get her feelings hurt. If Dumbledore expected Severus to have some sympathy for the girl, he was way off track. Severus had been through worse horrors than what Hermione would've gone through, had Dumbledore not worked this solution. Besides, Severus had no sympathy left.

The quill was snatched from the old wizard's hand, moved furiously over a parchment in a few violent strokes. The parchment rolled itself up and the quill was handed back.

And there was that. He would now be married to the girl - forever. This was the worst situation _ever_.

Seeing the look of relief, coupled with a knowing glance, pass Dumbledore's face, Severus snapped "Don't look so pleased. If I throttle her in her sleep, it'll be on _your_ conscience, not mine."

He stalked out once more, no less enraged than when he came in. Dumbledore sat at his desk, eyes twinkling, a victorious smile on his face.

* * *

AN: Sorry it's so short. I just figured it's a great stopping point. All other chapters will be longer, I promise. Also, if you haven't noticed, HBP and DH is being discounted for this story.

Up Next: Dumbledore (and Snape) explain the situation to Hermione.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I wasn't JK Rowling in the last chapter, it would stand to reason that I'm still not. Get a life, people.

Chapter 2 - Being Social

* * *

Hermione walked confidently through the halls of Hogwarts. It was her first day back and last night she had successfully orchestrated the Welcome Feast as Head Girl. Now she was stopping off at the Headmaster's office, as per his request, before going down to breakfast. Normally she would be concerned at being called to his office so soon after arriving, but seeing as how she hadn't done anything wrong (and, more importantly, Harry and Ron hadn't either - at least not to her knowledge), she figured it was probably Head business. 

She uttered the password to the stone gargoyle outside of Dumbledore's office, which happened to be "Puking Pastille." She personally found his passwords to be stupid and easy to guess - utterly pointless, really. Plus, the fact that he was promoting the Weasley twins in their pranking escapades didn't help matters. She hoped Ernie MacMillan wouldn't get any ideas. Half the school population throwing up whenever there was a quiz was bad enough, but there'd be no stopping it if the Head Boy was in on it too.

However, her concerns for the new Head Boy were needless - he wasn't in the office. At first Hermione figured that he hadn't yet arrived (she was five minutes early, as a standard) and was preparing to sit down and wait for him… when she saw Professor Snape.

He was sitting in one of the two armchairs in front of the Headmaster's desk, sipping a cup of tea and staring out the window with a look of feigned interest, yet he still somehow managed to convey that he was extremely bored. He didn't look over at her as she entered.

"Ah, Miss Granger! Glad you made it. Sit down, sit down. If we get started right away we'll finish by breakfast!" the Headmaster greeted her, motioning her into the other chair, next to Professor Snape.

"Shouldn't we wait until Ernie gets here, sir?" Hermione asked, still trying to make sense of what Snape was doing in the room for a routine discussion between the Head Students and the Headmaster.

"Oh, Mr MacMillan won't be joining us. This concerns only you, Miss Granger." He paused while Hermione looked at him in bewilderment, suddenly wondering what Harry and Ron could've done in the short time they'd been at school, and how they had managed to rope her into it. That would explain Snape's presence - he was probably trying to get them all expelled again.

"Miss Granger, I assume you are aware of the newly enacted Marriage Law?" Dumbledore asked, watching her face and gauging her response carefully.

Hermione's face darkened. Of course she was familiar with that _trash_. She had no idea how the Minister had managed to get that horrendous act passed. Why the rest of the wizarding world seemed to go along with it and support it was absolutely beyond her.

"Yes, sir, I've read the papers. I don't see what this is all about, though. I'm not eligible until I'm 18, and I've got over a year to go until then. I'm sure it'll be rescinded before I'll have to worry about it.

"You think it'll be detracted so soon?" the Headmaster asked.

"Well, I was planning on campaigning against it once I graduated. Honestly, I can't imagine that many Muggleborns are happy with this, and I'm sure most of the Pureblood population isn't thrilled either." She glanced over at Snape, who still seemed to not notice that anyone but he was in the room. Why was the Headmaster bringing this up? Perhaps one of the seventh years was being contracted?

"You might want to look at another avenue with which to approach the law, Miss Granger," the Headmaster said cryptically.

"Sir?"

"What I mean is, you should start preparing for being affected by the Marriage Law a little sooner than you had previously planned." The Headmaster looked decidedly uncomfortable, while Hermione was just more confused.

"I can't say I'm following you, sir. Is one of the girls at school being contracted? Do you want me to talk to them?"

Severus really wished Dumbledore would just come out and say it. He had this nasty habit of skirting around issues and not giving out all the details. He'd learned not to do it to Severus, but this was the sort of thing that lead to Potter running hie-tail into Ministries and almost getting blown up in the process. It was obvious Granger hadn't a clue what the Headmaster was getting at - not that he had expected her to - and would respond much better to straightforwardness.

"Yes, Miss Granger. It seems that due to your prolonged use of a Time Turner in your third year has affected your age. The Ministry has taken this time into consideration, and has deemed that you turned 18 yesterday. You have already received two contracts."

Finally, the silly little know-it-all was being put in her place! For once in her - and his - life she was speechless. Severus strongly wished these things would happen more often to her, preferably in his class.

Hermione stared at Dumbledore in shock. She was 18!? This couldn't be! She couldn't be getting married! She was still in school for Merlin's sake!

She was about to voice these concerns when a movement in her peripheral vision caught her eye. She turned her head slightly to see Snape sipping his tea, stilling looking out the window as if the World Cup were happening right outside and as though he found everyone in the room were both boring and distasteful, which he probably did. This thought was the only thing that kept her from exclaiming the injustice of it all. She wasn't going to make herself out to be the whiney little know-it-all he so strongly believed her to be.

Trying to keep her voice from shaking, Hermione asked "Who's contracted me?" Her heart was already filling with dread. She didn't need two guesses to figure out who would have contracted her, one was enough.

Dumbledore opened the top drawer of his desk and handed her two contracts. Hermione read them out loud as she opened them. "Macnair, Walden." She raised her eyebrow. That was a surprise, though she should have expected contracts from other Death Eaters. "Malfoy, Draco." At this, Hermione simply looked up at the Headmaster with a bored look on her face.

"Well, sir? Are these it?"

Dumbledore stared at her a moment, before stating, "I know this is a lot to deal with at one time, Miss Granger. It's obviously been quite a shock for you. But the fact still remains that a solution must be found-"

"I'm not in shock, sir," Hermione interrupted. "Honestly, Malfoy hinted as much to me on the train. In any case, it doesn't take a genius to tell that this law reeks of Lucius Malfoy." Severus fought a smirk. At least the girl knew how to get to the point. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, being forced to share his chambers with her. "I suppose I should feel complimented, that he went to all this trouble to get the law passed, just so that his son could marry me." Severus took a sip of his tea to keep from laughing.

"Miss Granger, I hope you understand the seriousness of this situation. The two men who, so far, have contracted for you are known Death Eaters. What's more, Professor Snape here reports that both of them are extremely _devout_ Death Eaters. Mr. Macnair's character should be obvious from what you know of his involvement in Buckbeak's failed execution. As for Mr. Malfoy, it is not just a matter of the boy, but also his father. They will both take advantage of you, you will produce an heir, and then you will be discarded and killed. _If you are lucky_. You marrying one of them is not an option you should even be considering."

"I know, sir. I'm simply waiting to hear what the backup plan is." Severus was torn between admiring her cheek and resenting the way she assumed everything would be handed to her, even if she was correct in this assumption… at least, to a point.

She paused, then continued, "I mean, you _did_ call me in here to tell me you had a backup plan, didn't you?" Hermione almost fainted herself at her impertinence, but it seemed the Headmaster was prepared to overlook it. Besides, she rather figured she was entitled to be a tad impertinent, considering the situation.

Dumbledore opened his drawer, and handed her another rolled up parchment. Hermione gave him a confused look and broke the seal, slowly, tremulously, opening it. She hoped it wasn't Ron. He was one of her two best friends, but she had absolutely no interest in marrying him. Malfoy was almost a better option.

Her eyes read over the name three time in quick succession before she looked up and screeched "PROFESSOR SNAPE?!?! _THIS_ IS YOUR BACKUP PLAN!?!?!"

She spun around to glare daggers at the man in question, who was in the middle of taking another sip of tea, resolutely ignoring her existence. She had the fleeting thought that he was probably only drinking the tea to cover the fact that he was undoubtedly smirking, which would go belie his feigned disinterest. So much for Slytherin subtlety, if a Gryffindor know-it-all could see through it.

"I can't marry him! He hates me! He hates everyone!" Hermione ranted, once again speaking to her Headmaster. At least he acknowledged the fact that there were other people in the room; people whose lives were being flitted away.

Unfortunately, said Headmaster now had that incessant twinkle in his eyes. "Now, Miss Granger, if you'd just calm down for a moment you'd see that there are certain advantages to this plan-"

"Advantages!? What advantages could there possibly be!?" Hermione was beyond caring if Snape thought her a hysterical little girl (which Severus did), because she was not going to let her dreams be shattered without a fight.

Dumbledore gave a pleading look to Severus, who was determinedly avoiding catching the Headmaster's eye, then resigned himself to defending the Potions Master himself. "I'm sure you can appreciate that Severus is a distinctly better choice than either or your two previous suitors. For one thing, I doubt he plans to rape and torture you, since it was hard enough to convince him to agree to this in the first place. For another, he is in the perfect position to protect you; he is in an authoritative position here at Hogwarts, and therefore over Mister Malfoy, and he is quite familiar with the men in question's tactics and how best to defend against these tactics."

"Sir, I know Professor Snape has done so much for the Order - more than I'll ever know, I'm sure - but that doesn't make him any less dislikable." Hermione felt bad about saying rude comments about the man while he was in the room, but if he was going to pretend to be in another world, she'd gladly indulge him. "Just because he's saved lives doesn't mean he doesn't like to go back and make those people's lives miserable."

"What's more, and most importantly," Dumbledore continued, as if she hadn't spoken, "Severus has my absolute trust and confidence. I believe him to be the best solution to this situation, and as such I really must insist that you agree to his proposal."

There was a beat of silence, during which time Dumbledore looked imploringly at Hermione, who looked back at him with abhorrence written in her features, while Severus continued ignoring the world and looking outside the window. A bird had just landed in a nearby tree and he seemed fascinated with it.

Desperate for a way to convince Hermione, Dumbledore added cheerfully, "And besides, the two of you will probably be so busy avoiding one another that you'll never see each other!"

Hermione tried to think about what the Headmaster was saying. If it truly was a choice between Macnair, Malfoy, and Snape, she would be forced to pick Snape through process of elimination, which was probably why his contract had been shown to her last.

She racked her brains for anyone, _anyone_ else who could fulfill the contract. Professor Lupin was a werewolf, and therefore not eligible for the Marriage Law. Besides, he was more like a father to her. Kingsley Shacklebolt had been killed during the final battle with Voldemort, and _Hermione Shacklebolt_ sounded terrible enough as it was.

Ron wasn't of age, and she had absolutely no desire to marry him. While she had a sinking feeling that he had a bit of a crush on her and had been planning on contracting her when she turned 18, she didn't think she could take being married to a man who she squabbled with on a daily basis. Besides, he never did his homework and was hopelessly immature. His twin brothers were out too - she would go mad from the explosions she would have to clean up after should she marry one of them.

So, in reality, it really did all come down to Professor Snape. Greasy, mean, anti-social, superior, miserly, emotionless, domineering, condescending _Snape_. She had an inane thought over whether he was a Capricorn or Scorpio.

Hermione struggled to compose herself. Staring in shock and disgust at Professor Dumbledore was not going to solve anything. Neither was glaring at Snape, and neither was curling up in the chair and crying, as she so desperately wanted to do at the moment. The fact that an extremely sadistic man was sitting a few feet away from her, ready to store her actions away for future ridicule was the only thing preventing her from doing it.

Severus, for his part, was making an effort to appear unperturbed and uninterested. He was currently hoping that Granger wasn't about to burst out into tears. He couldn't deal with women who cried. If the girl couldn't deal with a simple thing like picking the best man out of three, he shuddered to think what their marriage would be like. Not that he actually shuddered - that would completely defeat the effect he was trying to put on.

After a long period of silence, Hermione said in a soft, defeated, barely-audible voice "I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?"

Dumbledore gave her a sad, almost pitying look. "My dear, you always have a_choice_."

"No. I don't," she said in harsh tones, "and you know it. You've as much as said so yourself."

Snape almost let a smirk slip out at her throwing Albus' comment back in his face. Perhaps when they were married they could come up with ways to get back at Albus for his meddling ways, twinkling eyes, and fascination with candy.

"Just give me the quill," Hermione gritted out.

Dumbledore handed his quill to her, his eyes twinkling in earnest, oblivious to how this angered Hermione more. As the girl swiftly signed her name next to Severus's, Albus smiled. The two really were so alike, it was amazing how they were so averse to each other. He could see great things coming from this marriage. If, of course, either of them ever let go of their prejudices and stopped hating each other.

As the scroll rolled itself up and departed to the Ministry with a pop, Hermione as much as chucked the quill at the desk and huffed back in her chair. Severus resisted the urge to point out how immature she was being.

He must have made some movement, however, because Albus was now looking over at him.

"Severus, you have been awfully quiet. Perhaps you'd like to let us in on any thoughts or input you might have regarding the matter??"

Severus narrowed his eyes at the teasing lilt in the Headmaster's voice. He slowly placed his teacup on its saucer, and stood slowly, in what he calculated was as menacing as possible. "Is this all you needed me for, Albus? I really should be going. Who knows how many school rules have been broken whilst I've been up here? Although I'm sure the number has significantly dwindled due to Miss Granger's likewise detainment."

"Perhaps you and Miss Granger should get together tonight to discuss… plans," the Headmaster interjected swiftly.

"What a lovely idea," Severus said acidly. He turned to his new fiancée. "After dinner, in my office, Miss Granger. I assume you can manage that?" She nodded, not looking at him. "I'm sure you don't need directions to get there, as you seem fully capable of finding your way when stealing potions ingredients in the middle of the night." She looked up at him quickly, startled. Severus smirked.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Well, Miss Granger, you must be hungry by now. Off to breakfast with you!"

Hermione got up, casting one more suspicious look at Snape, then preceded to walk out. Before she closed the door, she heard the Headmaster say "Severus." She smirked at the fact that Snape was liking to be chided like a student.

Severus turned to follow, but stopped when he heard the Headmaster's voice. He cringed. He was probably about to be lectured for not being considerate enough of the girl's feelings. Well, if Albus expected him to tiptoe around some relentlessly hormonal and (more than likely) depressed girl, he had another thing coming.

"I hope you will make an effort to be more… social… to Miss Granger tonight."

"I thought I _was_ being social, Albus?" Severus said petulantly, before following Granger out the door.

* * *

AN: I hadn't realized that I didn't post the rest of the chapters I've finished. I'll be going through the ones I have (I've got up through chapter 6 so far), correcting and adding detail, etc. So this should be coming along quickly, now. Also, A LOT of people asked about what made Snape change his mind in the last chapter. Simple - he thought about it. Snape likes to be snarky, so naturally he refused straight off just to be a pain. But he's a good man at heart, and (as was hinted about twenty times) he usually gives in to whatever Dumbledore asks of him eventually. So let's just say that he wised up about it once he gave the idea a chance.

Up Next: Hermione breaks the news to Harry and Ron. Ron acts like an idiot about it, unsurprisingly enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I wish I was JK Rowling. Maybe then I'd be making some money instead of…not.

Chapter 3 - The Fruit of the Dungeons

* * *

Hermione walked into the Great Hall for breakfast in a daze. She felt like she was detached from herself. She supposed this was a side effect of trying to pretend like everything that she'd heard in the Headmaster's office was happening to some other girl, in some other place. But the sad truth remained that she had just signed away her life, her freedom… to Professor Snape, the bat of the dungeons.

And what did that make her? The fruit of the dungeons? Then again, Snape was far more likely to be a vampire bat than fruit bat. Oh Merlin, the dungeons. She should've realized before that they'd have to live together, and she was certain Snape would not agree to move into the Head Girl's rooms. She hoped he had windows in his chambers. She hoped he had _heat_. The entire place was probably covered in Slytherin memorabilia. What was she getting herself into?

She had barely said two words to the man, and already she was beginning to agree with Harry and Ron's opinions about him. Oh Merlin, again… Harry and Ron. There they were, waving her over cheerily, the picture of your standard Snape-hating Gryffindors. How was she going to tell them?

She sat down wearily and grabbed a piece of toast, lavished it with butter, then suddenly found she had absolutely no appetite to speak of. She went for her standard morning cup of tea, hoping that the caffeine would make something out of the mush her brain had become.

Hermione was so concentrated on her own misery that she completely forgot that her two friends were sitting next to her. Ron was shoveling eggs into his mouth at breakneck speed, as per usual, oblivious to his friend's sudden loss of appetite. Harry however, was not.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" He was studying her with a particularly keen look. "You look like you just got news that someone died."

Ron paused in his eating, his fork halfway into his mouth, which was hanging open and showing the world half-chewed pieces of scrambled egg.

Hermione shook her head. "It's nothing like that. I'll tell you later… in private." She looked around nervously, suddenly feeling as if the entire table was listening in on her conversation.

This, however, turned out to be a mistake. As she glanced around her, she noticed a flash of light in the background. Unsurprisingly enough, it was the glare the sun made off of Malfoy's hair. Hermione thought contemptuously that there was no way that hair was natural. If she thought it was at all possible that Malfoy would use anything to do with Muggles, she'd swear that he dyed it.

Malfoy had apparently been watching her for some time, probably since she'd walked in, if his past stalker tendencies were anything to go by. When he saw that he had her attention he raised his eyebrows, in what she supposed was meant to be seductive, and made a kissing face in her direction. Hermione looked away disgusted. She felt glad, for the first time, even if just a little bit, that she had chosen Snape.

The man in question chose that moment to barge into the Great Hall, his robes billowing out of the small door behind the staff table. Hermione watched him as he sat grumpily down in a huff. She tried not to smirk at the thought that Dumbledore must've given him a real lecture. Either that or he was just in his usual dour mood.

She took a moment to study him. She figured there must be _something_ at least _mildly_ attractive about Snape. Only there wasn't anything attractive about Snape, mildly or otherwise. His nose was too large, his hair long, lanky, and greasy, his eyes were like deep pools of nothingness, implying that he had no heart whatsoever, which wasn't that much of a stretch for the imagination. He must wear at least three layers of clothing, and Hermione had the sinking feeling that, though he was tall, he was probably scrawny as anything under all those layers. She didn't even want to go there. Add to that his perpetually gloomy countenance and you had one unpleasant man. There was no way she was going to enjoy this.

He seemed to notice her staring, because he looked up and raised his brows sardonically at her. She blushed at her impertinence and looked down at her uneaten breakfast. She made an effort to eat her piece of toast, figuring she'd need it to keep her brainpower up in classes, but it felt like rubber on her tongue. Just because Snape was ruining every other aspect of her life didn't mean her studies had to go down the drain as well.

* * *

Severus stared down the Great Hall at her. She was sitting quietly in her place, barely eating her toast, while her bothersome friends chatted away next to her. Perhaps she was finally getting some real smarts and was going to drop them. He sure as hell didn't want them traipsing through his chambers, putting nifflers in his underdrawers. One annoying Gryffindor was bad enough.

He looked over at her and grimaced at the thought of marrying her. Her hair was ridiculously poofy and flew around everywhere, reminding him of Medusa. He briefly wondered if she had ever been called that. It would make sense; Medusa and Hermione were both Greek. She probably cried over it, though he couldn't understand why anyone would. He spent seven years being called Snivellus without shedding a tear.

All around, Granger was a Plain Jane, another ironic analogy to go with the girl, considering her middle name. Her eyes were brown, not hazel, her face was not beautiful, though he supposed if she was to wear makeup she could be considered pretty, and she was too short. He hated short women. It made everything so much harder. Most of all, she was his _student_. Now everyone would think he was some kind of pedophile. He'd never looked at a student in any kind of attraction since the day he graduated himself. On the plus side, however, she was thin, but not skinny, and looked like she ate (though at the moment he was beginning to doubt that, as she continued to absentmindedly dissect her toast). She had full lips, but they weren't overly plump. She had average breasts, though he personally preferred larger, and her hips were wide enough to say that she would breed well.

_Breed?_ He, Severus Snape, would _not_ be doing anything with this chit of a girl that would lead to any kind of breeding. The children would be awful. They would have his large nose, her unruly hair, his surly composure, and her know-it-all tendencies. Besides what the wizarding world would have to say about it. No, he had absolutely no plans to do anything of the sort with her. He'd spend the next hundred years of his life celibate, but he wasn't going to touch that girl. The last thing he needed was the whole of Hogwarts to think him a letch, on top of everything else that was said about him.

In any case, even the scant slight attractive parts of her body were overshadowed by her abhorrent personality. Severus had been looking forward to the day when she and her two troublemaking friends would leave Hogwarts and be out of his life forever. Now, he was marrying one of them, and the other two were sure to follow her around. He hoped she was on better terms with Potter than Weasley. Potter was bad enough, acting just like his father, but at least he was good at Defense Against the Dark Arts (though he bragged incessantly about it), whereas Weasley had no skills to speak of. Perhaps if he told his fiancée that the two weren't allowed in his home he'd never have to deal with them.

And then there was his fiancée. He still hadn't gotten used to referring to her in that manner. It seemed a title too personal and doting for the gruesome situation they were actually in. The girl was annoying, for sure. She had a tendency to constantly be either frantically raising her hand, doing three feet more homework than required, or spouting off passages from the textbooks she was reading. Somewhere along the way she had seemed to have formed the idea that this made her appear smart. In Severus's mind it made her even stupider than her two nincompoop friends. The only things she knew about were things in books, written by other people. She lapped up whatever was written, with no thought for analysis. She knew nothing of the real world, had no common sense. How she had survived the war he couldn't understand. His life would be much simpler if she hadn't.

At this thought, the Headmaster walked in, to Severus's consternation and Hermione's amusement at his reaction. Severus took this time to slip quietly from the Hall to his dungeons. At least he could spend the day tormenting second year Ravenclaws. There were some joys in life, he decided.

* * *

"Well?" Harry demanded.

Hermione heaved a sigh. They were in her rooms during the break between classes and lunch. She had called them up to explain the situation, but now that the time had come, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. She sighed again, then launched into the narration of what had occurred in the Headmaster's office.

She told them everything, up to the point of when Dumbledore had given her Snape's proposal, while the boys looked at her with alternating shocked and sympathetic looks.

"Snape!? He wants you to marry _Snape_!? What is he thinking!?" Ron burst out when she had finished.

"It's _Professor_ Snape, Ron."

"Don't worry, 'Mione!" Hermione cringed. She hated when people called her that, though she supposed it was better than Medusa, which is what the children in her grade school had called her. She was always disappointed that she was the only one who saw the Greek mythological connection there. "I'll put in a contract for you! Forget Snape and marry me!"

Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Ron, you _can't_. You're not of age."

"So? I'll talk to Dad, see if he can pull some strings. Or there's always Fred or George-"

"Ron. No," Hermione said firmly, interrupting his rant before he got going. "It's too late for that anyway."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about 'too late?'" Ron had a panicked look on his face.

"I've already signed the contract."

"What!?" Ron exclaimed, making Hermione flinch at the volume of his yelp.

Harry gave her a long, perceptive look. "Please tell me you chose Snape."

Hermione nearly broke down and hugged him. She had been so afraid that she would have to explain her reasoning to both of them. Well, she still had to explain to Ron, and he was the more hardheaded of the two, but at least Harry would be able to help her.

Ron shot Harry a confused look. "Hermione?" he said, turning back to her, his voice coming out in a squeak.

Hermione glanced at him, then turned to look at Harry, who was giving her an imploring look. "Yes," she said heavily, "I chose Snape."

"Good," Harry said, nodding.

"GOOD!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'GOOD'!?" Ron burst out, predictably and loudly. "SNAPE!? WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE SNAPE!?"

"Well, who else would I have picked? Malfoy? He's a Death Eater!" Hermione said, trying to keep her voice calm and steady in the face of a very red Weasley.

"SO IS SNAPE!"

"Ron, mate-" Harry tried to interject.

"Don't 'Ron, mate' me!" Ron yelled, not even turning to look at Harry. "Why didn't you tell us you fancied Snape!"

Now it was Hermione's turn to look incredulous. Harry was gaping at Ron. "I do _not_ have a thing for Snape! Why would you even think that? It was a choice between _three_ evils and I chose the lesser!"

"You can hardly expect me to believe that. You must have something going for Snape; why else would you agree so readily to marry him?"

"There wasn't another choice! I would have chosen the same person had I had a week to decide. There wasn't anyone else!"

"There was me!"

"Ron, I told you you're not of age-"

"How could you pick _Snape_ over _ME_!?"

So that was what this was all about. Ron, as she suspected, liked her, probably more than liked her, if the fact that he wanted to marry her so badly was anything to go on. She was now extremely glad she had picked Snape while she could. At least Snape wasn't in love with her. Ron was a good friend, but Hermione was not romantically attracted to him in the least. A relationship with Snape would be relatively guilt-free, being that she was fairly certain he disliked her every bit as much as she disliked him.

"Ron…" Harry started, but Ron was already completely red and fuming, past the point of being reasoned with.

"I can't believe you two! You've probably been planning this behind my back this whole time! How _could_ you, Hermione? I thought we were friends!" Hermione found it annoying that Ron didn't just come out and say that he was upset because he had a crush on her, since everyone in the room seemed to realize it. "Forget this! Forget _you_!" and he stormed out.

There was a beat of silence, during which Hermione and Harry stared at the door. Hermione was struggling not to cry. She had expected Ron to take it badly (I mean, who wanted to picture their best friend married to the git of the school?), but she hadn't expected him to completely write them off like that. She wished he hadn't run off. She needed her friends now more than ever.

Harry sighed softly and turned to look at her, saw the unshed tears in her eyes, and went over to hug her. "He'll calm down. It's just a bit of a shock for him. For me, too."

"_You_ didn't yell at me and then run out of the room. I don't even understand why he's so upset. I get that he likes me, I've rather suspected it for a while, but I still think he overreacted."

"Well, he did tell me he had been planning on contracting you once he came of age. He seemed rather dead set on it. I don't think he wants to give up on that idea quite yet. You know Ron – he couldn't admit to himself that there's no way he'd be able to get things stretched so that he could contract you now, even though he's not eighteen. Not yet, anyway."

"He wouldn't be able to do something like that unless his Dad were someone like Lucius Malfoy. Besides, I wouldn't have accepted him even if Mr. Weasley had managed to pull it off."

"_I_ know that, but you can understand that Ron wouldn't want to let himself see it."

"That still doesn't explain why he was such a git about it."

"Well - and remember he thinks it was still possible for him to marry you - I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that, in his mind, you not only didn't choose him, but you chose _Snape_, the bane of our existence, over him."

"Well it wasn't much of a choice. And even Professor Snape is preferable to a couple of actual Death Eaters."

"I _know_, but you can't expect him to put behind old grudges so quickly. I saw what Snape had to do during the war, I worked with him on Occlumency and how to subvert Voldemort. I know he's dependable, and has honor, even if I also think his the biggest git in the wizarding world, next to Voldemort."

Hermione smiled at his last sentence, knowing it was too much to hope that Harry would let a chance to have one more dig against Professor Snape pass by.

"Don't worry about Ron, Hermione. He'll come to his senses."

Hermione looked at him. "I'm not sure I want him to, if he's going to act like that. Did you know he liked me? Not just wanting to contract me for convenience, but actually liked me?"

"He told me he did back in the beginning sixth year, but after he went out with that fifth year Hufflepuff I figured he was over it."

"I guess not," Hermione sniffed.

"Come on, forget Ron. If he doesn't see reason, well, we're better off without him. Besides, you still have me. And I can faithfully tell you that I am not harboring any romantic thoughts of you whatsoever. Now, let's get to lunch before we're late."

Hermione gave him a watery smile as he led her out the door. They walked in silence down the corridors for a while, when Harry suddenly spoke.

"Hermione?" he asked softly.

"Yes?"

"It was the right thing to do. Picking Snape, I mean."

"Thank you."

* * *

AN: So, if you couldn't tell, I strongly dislike Ron. So he's going to be pretty dumb in this. I might eventually reunite them as friends, but don't hold your breath.

Up Next: Remus tries to comfort Hermione about her impending marriage.


End file.
